On one hand its a place where the kids can run riot and get it out of their system. On the other hand it is noise, noise, noise! I’ve just spent two hours in what can only be described as a confusion of hell and heaven. I got to spend a wonderful two hours with a friend who I haven’t been able to catch up with for months, but at the same time….oh God the noise!
The shouting! And that was just the parents. It’s hard to tell if they are shouting to be heard or just shouting at the kids.
I had this crazy idea that soft play would mean my friend and I could chat. In reality I think there is a place where all lost conversations go. It feels like we chatted but come to think of it now, there were so many unfinished sentences and stories due to interruptions.
I haven’t even began to talk about the filth. We had been there for well over an hour before I noticed the slug trails under the soft play. Admittedly this bit they can’t get to but it made me wonder what the rest of it is like that they can get to, but I can’t. I also dread to think what is festering away inside the ball pit. One parent I know says he’ll never forget the time he went in to help his little one and came out with wet socks. Eugh.
Then there was the inevitable injury. You know how it goes, one older child bounces off of a 3 year old and doesn’t even realise (or doesn’t give a crap, who knows). This results in blood and tears with the three year old. Does that other Mum apologise on behalf of her child? No. My friend goes over and does exactly what I would have done which is to say something along the lines of “Oh Gosh! Your son headbutted my child. Her nose is bleeding but I wondered if your son was okay?”. (Translation: “Your child is a thug. Apologise please”) The CORRECT response would have been “Oh no! I didn’t realise. I am so sorry, is your little girl okay?”. But NO. Her reply “He’s fine.”. I’m not even sure she said thanks for asking. Next time I think my friend should go in all guns blazing. Sod diplomacy.
What is it about soft play centres that turns parents and children alike feral?
So, this crazy idea that I’d initially had where it would give them a couple of hours to let off steam and then they would come home and chill? Did it work? Did it heck. More hyped up than they were before we left.
So I’m sat here tapping away furiously to let out the pent up frustration from all that noise. In the background I can now hear my little ones happily playing pairs. I give it until the end of this post before I’m in there refereeing again.
So, that’s that.
EDIT: By the time I’d finished this posts, chose a category and hit publish, I’d had to go in there and explain to an 11 year old that just before dinner is not the time to get really stubborn about the concept of tidying up with an over tired 3 year old terrorist.
So, do you think soft play is heaven or hell?
