I’m going through a divorce. A long and painful one. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I should have done it long ago. There are plus sides and one of them is how I came to survive another day.
When you’re going through a divorce, if the Dad isn’t a total arsehole then he will have the children at the weekend. Thankfully my ex loves his children and wants to see them every weekend. He doesn’t have them overnight but I get 7 hours each day alone. Now, as much as I love them,that time away is golden. It is the time of the week when I can be me. No more being someones Mum. I’m me. I can have a looongggg shower once they leave. I can go back to bed if I want. I can do what I want, when I want. Yes that sounds terrible selfish but these days I don’t care!
For my children to be happy, they need a happy Mum. By having the time to myself of a weekend, I get to recover from the week and refresh myself for the following one.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I wish I had at least one of the weekend days with them. There are places I’d love to take them. That isn’t going to happen though. At first it was hard being away from them. I didn’t always use to relish it. However, once I got to grips with the fact that it was going to happen each weekend, I grew to enjoy it and make the most of it. No point in moping right? For the first few months of our separation they would stay overnight with him but that soon changed once my ex realised he wouldn’t get a lie in…
I’m sat here now waiting for them to come home. They should have been home at 6 but aren’t. This is not unusual. I used to stress and worry but now I know that is just how it is with my ex and it is how it always will.
So what did I do with my time today? I spent the morning browsing round shops without having to say “No you can’t have it!” or “Don’t touch!”. I ate lunch out without having to say “Please eat up!” or “Hang on I’ll find the wipes”. I then went food shopping and bought the food I needed without having to constantly say “Come back here!” and “No, we don’t need ice cream” (although I do have a secret stash….)
I then came home and sat and wrote some of my novel. This is a pleasure that I’ve come to enjoy.
So, they are now 17 minutes late but soon the silence will be broken and they will come bounding in babbling excitedly about their day. We will have our usual cuddles and quality time before the chaos of bedtime. This time I value as a result of having the last 7 hours alone.
So, there are plus sides to divorce….
